“Single” doesn’t mean a heart is available and free. Married
doesn’t mean a heart is not available and trapped.”
-Stacey Cook
Why in the h-e-double hockey sticks would I say, “Words,
what are they good for anyway”? I will explain. Words are just that, words.
What gives them meaning are the attachments such as beliefs, culture, emotions,
experiences, commitment, behavior, and character to name a few. For example,
“Single” might mean “I am not married,” simple as that. For others,
it might mean, “I am available to have fun”. I will let you guess
what kind of fun I mean.
Words are used to help quickly facilitate attachments which
in turn help the meaning. The more alike we are to others, the more
similar those attachments. Since no two people are 100% alike, the
word meanings can become confusing when further clarification is not
given. For example, the word “Single”, for someone that has not been
single for a VERY long time, can be confusing.
Life changes daily. As our world changes, our
location changes, relationships change...our attachment to words will also
change. Assigning good and bad attachments to words can add to the
confusion.
Black and white attachments tend to cement a word, like
NEVER and ALWAYS does. Life is not concrete, it is always changing,
therefore you have additional confusion. Good and bad also facilitate
imbalance.
There are different degrees to things that will change the
attachments to words. Things like environmental and cultural factors
should be considered. For example, saying to myself in a cement way,
"It is bad to eat after 7 pm." It is better to say, if you eat
then go to bed, digestion problems might arise. If you are in another country
like Italy, it is customary to eat after 7 pm.
Back to “Single.” Some examples of “Single” word
attachments might be liberation, freedom, not afraid to be alone, without a
partner. This doesn’t mean someone is looking for a partner. Those word attachments happen to be mine.
Taking the cement words away, for example good and bad, has helped
me recognize my word attachments so I can explore myself deeper.
If I could offer any words of encouragement, let it be this.
Everyone starts somewhere. Pick one word. List all the attachments you have to
it. Then decide if anything needs to change for your growth. If I can do it, so
can you! Pain is your friend. If it comes up, figure out those attachments.
Love to all of you and thank you for your time. The most
precious gift you can give yourself and others.

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