Words: What are they good for anyway?

“Single” doesn’t mean a heart is available and free. Married doesn’t mean a heart is not available and trapped.”

-Stacey Cook

 

Maybe the last hours of his life, all because he was "Single", REALLY?

What in the h-e-double hockey sticks would I say that for? I will explain. Words are just that, words. What gives them meaning are the attachments: beliefs, culture, emotions, experiences, commitment, behavior, character. For some, “Single” might mean “I am not married,” simple as that.  For others, it might mean, “I am available to have fun”.  I will let you guess what kind of fun I mean.

Words quickly facilitate attachments which help meaning.  The more alike we are to others, the more similar those attachments and meanings will be.  Since no two people are alike, the word meanings can be confusing when further clarification is not available.    Especially the word “Single” for someone that has not been single for a VERY long time. 

Life changes on a daily basis.  As our world changes, our location changes, relationships change...our attachment to words will also change.  Assigning good and bad attachments to words can add to the word meaning confusion. 

Those black and white attachments cement a word like NEVER and ALWAYS.  Which is not real since life isn’t cement. The hinderance I have with good and bad is it facilitates imbalance. There are different degrees to things.  Environmental, cultural factors to consider.  Eating after 7 pm is bad. No, if you eat then go to bed you might have digestion problems. If you are in another country like Italy, eating after 7 pm is part of their culture.

Back to “Single.”  Single, for me, has the following additional words attached: liberation, freedom to be me, not afraid to be alone, without a partner. Not to be confused with my heart is available, and I am not ready for a partner, just not "with" a partner.

Taking the stigma away (good, bad, painful) from the word is teaching me to recognize my attachments and explore them deeper. 

If I could offer any words of encouragement, let it be this. Everyone starts somewhere. Pick one word. List all the attachments you have to it. Then you decide if anything needs to change for your growth. If I can do it, so can you! Pain is your friend. If it comes up, figure out those attachments.

Love to all of you and thank you for your time. The most precious gift you can give yourself and others.