Edited 3/29/2025:
By sharing I hope someone might find something that helps
them along this crazy journey called life. Love is one of the most beautiful
things that we are all capable of. When your heart opens you radiate joy. You have an amazing vibration. That is the best way I know how to describe
love. It is very powerful and is a
connection to everything.
For many years, I was closed, afraid of getting hurt. Control
freak might have been an understatement. EVERYONE has a story. EVERYONE has
their own reason for why they might be closed. Your perception is your world
and sometimes that world is not a pretty place. The most beautiful thing to
realize is YOU have a choice. But you must do the work.
During my time of despair is when I found strength. My heart
was exposed…I no longer had the strength nor that ability to protect it. Amazing
and beautiful people then stepped in, or were they always there and I just did
not notice? I found my strength, love
for myself and others.
Incredibly happy that I woke up. The biggest current challenge
is keeping my heart open. Not giving in
to the chatter in my head. I will eat chocolate occasionally, LOL! And you know
what, I forgive myself.
And this next part was written shortly after a sweet man
passed away. One that was consistently telling me to write. The world works in
mysterious ways, it is up to you if you want to hear what it is saying...In
memory of Jay, my sweet guitar loving twin.
Forever thankful he touched my life, RIP.
___________________________________________________________________________________
When you have "I don't give afunkanidias", you are
living the life Peter had in Office Space, minus the money laundering and
smashing of the printer. This type of life has the freedom to be who you are
without fear. You truly do not care what acquaintances or random people think,
nor do you care about the consequences of their judgments upon you. We are not
talking about narcissists either.
Those that have this condition may come across as arrogant
or cocky but the reality of it all is this: they are comfortable in their
own skin. Loving yourself is a key ingredient for this to happen, and to add,
living in the moment.
The best way to create a resilient lifestyle is to love who
you are. At one point or another, you will have something to bounce back from. You
just never know what you are going to get and when you will have that “thing or
things” happen. Divorce, death, sickness, rejection…these are all part of
normal life that will require recovery. Quick recovery is resilience.
First you must believe in you. That way you
can transition from the pity party to the “let’s get it done” mindset. It is ok
to have a period where you are downright pissed. Don’t stay there for
years. Dust yourself off when you get up and take life by the horns,
and RIDE it like no other. Life will not wait for you. It will pass quickly. Go
on the trips you always wanted. Do the things you were not doing.
Learn from all experiences, accept things for
what they are, understand what part of the experience you potentially own, then
create new experiences, Bitterness and hate are not healthy and could lead to
other undesirable outcomes. It stunts your growth. This is something I must
consciously work on daily. Gratitude journaling helps me with this. Pick five
things you are thankful for daily. Wow, this makes you realize all the good out
there.
Living in the present moment and defining what
is important are additional ingredients in loving yourself and
building a resilient lifestyle. For example, I have defined trust and comfort
as two important parts of my life with people I am connected to. Yours might be
different, but for me, if you do not trust someone or feel comfortable being
me, then it is likely my only interactions are professional, sports related, or
none. This is a two-way street; the other person needs to be genuine as well. I
really want to enjoy all my present moments, and I will no longer accept fake
ones. When I am with someone, they have all of me, no distractions.
Building strong connections are important
for happiness, health, growth, and of course loving yourself. Sharing without
any expectations of reciprocity is how I connect. Now, I am not saying to be
“ok” with a one-way street here, like the damn Giving Tree. What I am saying is
do not share with the intent of expecting something in return. That should not
be the reason for your sharing. I feel good inside, my heart feels whole when I
see eyes light up from something I have shared. It's a great feeling knowing I
am making someone else’s day better. Having a great circle of friends if
important, you trust them. For example, If
they say, “Hey dude, you might want to go see a therapist.”, DO IT. You are not weak. They have your best interest in mind and
might be seeing things you don’t.
To sum it up if you want. resilient lifestyle you will need
to put in the work that is needed to make it happen. You can create the life
you were intended to have by believing in yourself, learning from all
experiences, listening to life, enjoying the present and what is important, and
having strong connections (BLPS), loving you!
Additional things I do, 1-Exercise (cardio and strength),
2-Read a lot, 3-Yoga, 4-Meditation, 5-Art, 6-Music, 7-Love my animals!,
8-Volenteer work.) My friends are my family. I am forever grateful for them.
Make today matter! Love, Stacey
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