When you have "I don't give afunkanidias", you are living the life Peter had in Office Space, minus the money laundering and smashing of the printer. This type of life has the freedom to be who you are without fear. You truly do not care what acquaintances or random people think, nor do you care about the consequences of their judgments upon you. We are not talking about narcissists either.
Those that have this condition may come across as arrogant
or cocky but the reality of it all is this: they are comfortable in their own
skin. Loving yourself is a key
ingredient for this to happen.
The best way to create a resilient lifestyle is to love who
you are. At one point or another, you
will have something to bounce back from.
You just never know what you are going to get and when you will have
that “thing or things” happen. Divorce, death, sickness, rejection…these are
all part of normal life that will require recovery. Quick recovery is resilience.
First you must believe in you. That way you can transition from the pity
party to the “let’s get it done” mindset.
It is ok to have a period where you are downright pissed. Don’t stay there for years. Dust yourself off when you get up and take
life by the horns, and RIDE it like no other.
Life will not wait for you. It
will pass quickly.
Learn from all experiences, accept things for what
they are, understand what part of the experience you potentially own, then create
new experiences that will not allow the same incident to happen again. Bitterness
and hate are not healthy and could lead to other undesirable outcomes. It literally stunts your growth. This is something I must consciously work on
daily. Gratitude journaling helps me
with this. Pick 5 things you are thankful
for daily. Wow, this makes you
realize all the good out there.
Living in the present moment and defining what's important
are additional ingredients in loving yourself and building a resilient lifestyle. For example, I have defined trust and comfort as two important parts of my life with people I'm connected to. Yours might be different, but for me, if do
not trust someone or feel comfortable being me, then it is likely my only
interactions are professional, sports related, or none. This is a two-way street; the other person needs
to be genuine as well. I really want to
enjoy all my present moments, and I will no longer accept fake ones. When I am with someone, they have all of me,
no distractions.
Building strong connections are important for happiness,
health, growth, and of course loving yourself.
Sharing without any expectations of reciprocity is how I connect. Now, I am not saying to be “ok” with a
one-way street here, like the damn Giving Tree.
What I am saying is don’t share with the intent of expecting something
in return. That should not be the reason
for your sharing. I feel good inside, my
heart feels whole when I see eyes light up from something I've shared. It's a great feeling knowing I am making
someone else’s day better.
To sum it up,
if you want a resilient lifestyle you will need to put in the work that is
needed to make it happen. You can create
the life you were intended to have by believing in yourself, learning from all
experiences, enjoying the present and what is important, and having strong
connections (BLPS), ultimately loving you!
I will leave you with this small
experience that helped my growth.
During my divorce, on my 22nd anniversary date, I took a trip
to Starved Rock. This was the beginning
of my healing journey. I was killing time in the lounge before my
bald eagle tour. My camera gear was
spread out everywhere, I was getting ready to take photos of the finely
decorated fireplace. It was just after
Christmas and the lodge was all decked out.
Out of nowhere, a young boy around 9 or
10 plopped down beside me with his camera.
He had an eager look in his eyes, “Miss, did you get any good shots?” Quickly
I responded with a tilted side smile, “I am just getting started. I'm getting ready to practice on the fireplace
then hopefully I'll get a great bald eagle shot on the tour.” Then I asked, “Do you have any?” His mother appeared shortly after the
boy. She had the look of admiration and
concern, “He loves photography, I'm sorry if he's bothering you.” I laughed and said, “Of course he's not
bothering me. I love to see great
photography.”
The boy and I looked through his photos as he explained
each one. “You have a great eye!” I noticed. He had a story for each photo. I let him know which
ones I really liked and why. I reassured
his mother that her son was an inspiration.
Then she let me know he loves all kinds of art. Before we parted ways, I said to his mother, “Someone
with all that talent and desire to share will do great things with their art. Thank you for sharing.”
I knew I was living in the moment and where I was supposed to be. This experience hit me hard, "Stacey,
this is why you were doing Art Totality!
Get it together.” I was supposed to be at Starved Rock during that time. Before
leaving, I booked my room for the following year.
Make today matter!
Stacey
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