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The Squeaky Walmart Cart

    Let me start this Blog by saying:  There are some truths (very little) and falseness (lots) to this story! LOL!

     At one time or another, we have won the lucky fucked up cart lottery.  The wheel that just isn't functioning the way it was intended.  More than likely, it is a cart someone else set aside for that very reason.  What do you do when you get that lucky cart?


     The attention seeker will probably keep the damn cart.  Parading up and down the aisle all dressed up and ready to accept numbers for a date.  For those of us that do not like the squeaky cart, timing of when you find out you have the lucky one matters. Halfway to the milk aisle the cart starts squeaking and you only needed a few items.  Damn it!

     Those that are fixers will look for a remote location in the store, as to not draw attention while assessing the issue.  In my mind, I have invested too much time getting to the milk to turn around now and get another cart.  I even grab for my *Gerber that isn't there. 

     We can't forget the hider.  These individuals want no one to know how bad their luck is with the cart lottery.  When you see someone holding up one end of the cart and pulling instead of pushing while whistling Dixie, that is your red flag.  "We have a hider in aisle 5!"  You probably will believe their mask of the bad wheel.  They walk through Walmart so confident.  They even thought of the accidental squeak by hiding their identity behind sunglasses.  No way you will know they have the squeaking cart unless they confess or the wheel comes off.

     Some may notice their weakness is the same as their strength, they do not know when to give up on the cart. At one point or another, a realization sets in for some of us.  Walmart needs to fix their own carts.  "What part of this do I have influence over", you should ask.  "Find an associate and let them know about the cart before leaving", I say to myself.  I am so proud of this recollection that I pat myself on the back. "I am being a good citizen, in making sure no one else will get this crazy fucked up cart".

     As I approach the associate, it becomes clear, almost instantaneously, it is my fault the cart is bad.  This three-minute, one sided conversation, turned into an eternity as I listened about the mysterious "They".  "They cause this issue you know", her eyes are simmering with detest as she also gives me the look of "I hate my job".  "They leave them out by the end of the cars.  They ride on them.  They overload them.  They bump into things".  Then all the sudden she takes the cart from my hands and says, "Thank you for letting me know".

     While scratching my head, I watch her hand the cart over to the associate that is greeting "They" at the door.  The squeaky cart is then placed back into the lottery pool.  “This would not happen at Aldi”, I say to myself.

*Gerber is a multi-tool that I used a lot as a molding technician.  I never left home without it.

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