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EDITED: I don’t give afunkanidias…how to build a resilient lifestyle…

Edited 3/29/2025:  

By sharing I hope someone might find something that helps them along this crazy journey called life. Love is one of the most beautiful things that we are all capable of. When your heart opens you radiate joy.  You have an amazing vibration.  That is the best way I know how to describe love.  It is very powerful and is a connection to everything.

For many years, I was closed, afraid of getting hurt. Control freak might have been an understatement. EVERYONE has a story. EVERYONE has their own reason for why they might be closed. Your perception is your world and sometimes that world is not a pretty place. The most beautiful thing to realize is YOU have a choice. But you must do the work.

During my time of despair is when I found strength. My heart was exposed…I no longer had the strength nor that ability to protect it. Amazing and beautiful people then stepped in, or were they always there and I just did not notice?  I found my strength, love for myself and others.

Incredibly happy that I woke up. The biggest current challenge is keeping my heart open.  Not giving in to the chatter in my head. I will eat chocolate occasionally, LOL! And you know what, I forgive myself. 

And this next part was written shortly after a sweet man passed away. One that was consistently telling me to write. The world works in mysterious ways, it is up to you if you want to hear what it is saying...In memory of Jay, my sweet guitar loving twin.  Forever thankful he touched my life, RIP.

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When you have "I don't give afunkanidias", you are living the life Peter had in Office Space, minus the money laundering and smashing of the printer. This type of life has the freedom to be who you are without fear. You truly do not care what acquaintances or random people think, nor do you care about the consequences of their judgments upon you. We are not talking about narcissists either. 

Those that have this condition may come across as arrogant or cocky but the reality of it all is this:  they are comfortable in their own skin. Loving yourself is a key ingredient for this to happen, and to add, living in the moment.

The best way to create a resilient lifestyle is to love who you are. At one point or another, you will have something to bounce back from. You just never know what you are going to get and when you will have that “thing or things” happen. Divorce, death, sickness, rejection…these are all part of normal life that will require recovery. Quick recovery is resilience.

First you must believe in you. That way you can transition from the pity party to the “let’s get it done” mindset. It is ok to have a period where you are downright pissed. Don’t stay there for years.  Dust yourself off when you get up and take life by the horns, and RIDE it like no other. Life will not wait for you. It will pass quickly. Go on the trips you always wanted. Do the things you were not doing. 

Learn from all experiences, accept things for what they are, understand what part of the experience you potentially own, then create new experiences, Bitterness and hate are not healthy and could lead to other undesirable outcomes. It stunts your growth. This is something I must consciously work on daily. Gratitude journaling helps me with this. Pick five things you are thankful for daily. Wow, this makes you realize all the good out there.

Living in the present moment and defining what is important are additional ingredients in loving yourself and building a resilient lifestyle. For example, I have defined trust and comfort as two important parts of my life with people I am connected to. Yours might be different, but for me, if you do not trust someone or feel comfortable being me, then it is likely my only interactions are professional, sports related, or none. This is a two-way street; the other person needs to be genuine as well. I really want to enjoy all my present moments, and I will no longer accept fake ones. When I am with someone, they have all of me, no distractions. 

Building strong connections are important for happiness, health, growth, and of course loving yourself. Sharing without any expectations of reciprocity is how I connect. Now, I am not saying to be “ok” with a one-way street here, like the damn Giving Tree. What I am saying is do not share with the intent of expecting something in return. That should not be the reason for your sharing. I feel good inside, my heart feels whole when I see eyes light up from something I have shared. It's a great feeling knowing I am making someone else’s day better. Having a great circle of friends if important, you trust them.  For example, If they say, “Hey dude, you might want to go see a therapist.”, DO IT.  You are not weak.  They have your best interest in mind and might be seeing things you don’t.

To sum it up if you want. resilient lifestyle you will need to put in the work that is needed to make it happen. You can create the life you were intended to have by believing in yourself, learning from all experiences, listening to life, enjoying the present and what is important, and having strong connections (BLPS), loving you!

Additional things I do, 1-Exercise (cardio and strength), 2-Read a lot, 3-Yoga, 4-Meditation, 5-Art, 6-Music, 7-Love my animals!, 8-Volenteer work.)  My friends are my family.  I am forever grateful for them.

Make today matter! Love, Stacey


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