Becoming an Intrapersonal Storm Chaser - What is That?

 

Becoming an Intrapersonal Storm Chaser – What is That?

This article is about learning to notice fear, understand where it shows up, and approach it with support instead of shame. I am not writing as an expert or therapist. I am writing as someone who spent years avoiding certain storms and finally decided to study them instead of running from them.

Never enter the eye of the storm until you have taken the time to know them, identified a team (therapist, trusted friends), and have tools to use for the different storms, similar to what a physical storm chaser would do before going into the eye of a tornado. What works for me may not work for you or my future self. We are always changing. For example, I used to hate running, now I love it. Ironically enough it became one of my most valuable tools.

You might be asking, what is the eye of the storm? It is one of the calmest parts of a physical storm, but it can also be one of the most dangerous places to enter. From an intrapersonal perspective, getting near the eye means building enough self-confidence and support to look closely at the fear instead of avoiding it. Once inside, the real learning begins. Professional storm chasers spend years developing their knowledge and skills, and they do not work alone. That same idea applies here: entering a personal storm takes preparation, patience, and people who can help you stay safe.

When you enter the part of a storm that feels most dangerous, your brain and body can react in ways that make the fear feel even larger. That is why awareness and tools matter. Before going directly into a storm, you need to know what it is, how it shows up, and what your personal baseline looks like. For this example, I chose one that was easy for me to spot: the fear of being closed in.

Fear of being closed in is also known as claustrophobia. My lifestyle was interesting to dissect once I started investigating this storm. I realized I had built many small routines around avoiding the feeling of being trapped. I avoided crowds, chose aisle seats on planes, sat at the end of rows, picked the end of the dinner table, drove whenever possible, and sat at the end of the bleachers. I am almost certain there were more.

Most importantly, how did these fears keep me from having a fulfilled life? When the storm took over and destroyed the town, I started saying no to things I enjoyed. My friends had no idea why I kept backing out, and I did not want them to know that side of me, so I made excuses. It became my little secret, and the secrecy made the fear stronger because I was not being my authentic self.

One might say to me, "You have no idea. My storms are bad. There is no way I am going to work on this stuff." The hard truth is that I would not know exactly how bad someone else's storms are. We are all unique. What I do believe is that change becomes possible when a person wants a different quality of life strongly enough to begin, even if the beginning is small. What I can say from my experience is that the work is worth it.

My storms were bad, but the outside world did not know how bad. They landed me in the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack: an EF4 panic attack. They left me dripping in sweat on the bathroom floor, too weak to move, falling asleep without knowing if I would wake up: an EF5 panic attack. They made me pull over on the side of the road to vomit: an EF3 anxiety attack. They made me run out of waiting lines to get to the bathroom: an EF2 anxiety attack. Yes, the tornados were bad, and they lasted until I made the conscious decision to become an Intrapersonal storm chaser.

Looking back, one of the biggest shifts was realizing that fear was not random. It had patterns. Once I could name the patterns, I could begin choosing my response instead of letting the storm choose for me.

Let us start by identifying one storm and breaking it down. Pick one fear and list the things connected to it. What situations do you avoid? What choices have you built around that fear? Then write a future statement describing how your life could feel once that storm no longer controls your decisions. Keep everything in one journal. You might call it your "Storm Chaser Journal" and begin with an entry like this:

All my fears connected to the storm of claustrophobia:

1. Elevators
2. Large crowds
3. Busy cities and streets
4. Riding with other people where I am not the driver.
5. Confined seating

Avoidance:

1. Elevators, took the stairs, made it an exercise thing.
2. Avoid concerts and sporting events.
3. Didn’t travel to busy cities.
4. Always driving, that way I didn’t risk feeling trapped in.
5. Avoided middle seats on planes, dinners, movies, etc.

Future Statement: 

I will travel without fear, and that freedom will allow me to learn more about each place I visit. I will live in the present with the people I love while attending concerts, going to events, or simply enjoying whatever we are doing together. I will enjoy not feeling like I have to drive everywhere. Less gas, more conversation, and more time to be present. I will use the elevator when it gets me to my destination faster, although I do still enjoy the free stair climber, LOL.

Next, I will share more about the tools: what to use, when to use them, and how to decide what works for you. Your tools may look different from mine, and that is okay. The choice is yours, and the goal is to find what helps you safely study.